Application of the Critical Theory

Carnegie, Carlin, and soft language: A link

"In my academic opinion, Carnegie's book, How to win friends and influence people (1936/1998), contributed more to the use of soft language than any other book in modern history,"
Walter Jensen, sociology PhD candidate, WMU

According to Dale Carnegie (1888-1955), "In a nutshell
Principle 1: Donít criticize, condemn or complain.
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want."
pg. 47

According Carnegie, "In a nutshell
Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2: Smile
Principle 3: Remember that a personís name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other personís interests.
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely."
pg. 105

According Carnegie, "In a nutshell
Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 2: Show respect for the other personís opinions. Never say, 'Youíre wrong.'
Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way.
Principle 5: Get the other person saying 'yes, yes' immediately.
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other personís point of view.
Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other personís ideas and desires.
Principle l0: Appeal to the nobler motives.
Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas
Principle 12: Throw down a challenge."
pg. 189-190

According Carnegie, "In a nutshell
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitude and behavior. some suggestions to accomplish this:
Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Principle 2: Call attention to peopleís mistakes indirectly.
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Principle 5: Let the other person save face.
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be 'hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.'
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest."
pg. 236

All quotes are from the Gallery Books edition. Gallery Books is a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
The first Pocket/Gallery trade paperback printing was Nov. 1998.

First Posted 07-29-2012

George Carlin (1937-2008) at the American Press Club discusion soft language, May 13, 1999.
The same video on